Keeping The Peace

What a great few nights I’ve had!

The other day, after a tip from Oracle, Nightwing and I put aside our differences and went and busted up Killer Croc. The tip-off told us where he was hiding, a newish apartment down by the river. It was quite nice, a lot of room, balcony, and a ledge, outside the windows, that is perfect for lurking on; I really like these old warehouses that have been changed into yuppie apartments (I may have to invest in some).

You always want to take Croc by surprise, so we observed him through the French doors. Croc was sitting on his couch wearing a Minnesota Vikings hat, a Jervon Kearse Titans jersey and pants (thank god). His new plasma TV was showing the NFL draft on ESPN. I always thought Croc was a Saints fan.

Croc reached for some nachos and spilled greasy cheese down the front of his jersey. He roared in anger and NW and I decided it was time to break this up.

Croc looked genuinely surprised to see us. A “biff” and a “pow” later and he lay unconscious on the floor. We decide that this set-up was too good to waste and grabbed a handful of nachos and watched Aaron Rogers finally be selected by the Packers. I prefer the Bears; they have a gritty determination that appeals to me.

Anyway, three games of Madden later (Patriots 2: Bears 1, I hate the Pats), Croc started stirring; we decided that instead of having to carry him ALL the way to Arkham we would just leave him with a warning.

Last night it was actually really quiet. In fact nothing happened. I love those nights because I can swing around or drive the Bat-Mobile really fast down the highways.

Just for laughs I went down to one of the dives near the docks and shook down some guys. You got to keep the criminals cowardly and superstitious. Then I went home and mucked about on the internet. I replied to Superman’s TWENTY emails about the agenda for the next JLA meeting, (Christ on a stick! Who cares if the paper is doubled sided or not!).

Oh and I see that Oracle has put up a post. Batgirl is still quiet but that’s her thing I ‘spose.

On the Bat-Mobile Stereo: Roots Manuva – Awfully Deep

Ho-lee Crap!

What the hell is going on here!

Alfred and I get back from the A-city to find my cave is a mess. There’s beer cans everywhere! Someone (probably Robin) has been downloading Destiny’s Child and Kelly Clarkson MP3s onto the Bat-computer and Bat-iPod.

Also there are twinkie wrappers and half drunken bottles of coke under the seats in the Bat-mobile (which no one was allowed to drive). And someone has replaced my new Beck CD with Avril Lavigne in the Bat-Stereo.

Why does Batgirl have a big bruise on her forehead? You know Oracle is going to tell me everything so you may as well confess right now. And it doesn’t take the “World’s Greatest Detective” to know who put chocolate fingerprints all over my bat-suits.

Also Nightwing, I will speak to you later about certain “images” I found in the Bat-computer under a file called “Dick’s Stuff Keep Out”.

It's still better than the last one

Hey Flash, bet you wish you drove now huh?



Though...
Used to be Chicks dug the car.
Now-a-days it’s the guys.
(sigh)

Currently playing on the Bat-mobile stereo: Tone Loc, Wild Thing

Why I bother sometimes...

I swear the Riddler isn’t even trying anymore.

So last night I get this “cryptic” message given to me by James Gordon. It had been thrown through the GCPD window attached to a big green question mark. (I wonder who it could be? Killer Croc?)

The message followed the old formula: "when is a something like a something else?". This time it read:

“When is 14a Stoutmire St like my secret headquarters?”

Christ Gordon! Do I have to do all the work?

Robin, bless him, was still trying to make out like it was hard. He was all like “Hmmm, maybe we should put it through the bat-computer” And even when the computer spat out “WTF!?” Robin was still saying things like “Maybe it’s a trap”.

It SO wasn’t a trap.

Seriously though, how much is the Riddler paying his goons to dress up in bright green tuxedos?

It's supposed to be a secret!!!

What’s going on here!

Stuffo, the “entertainment” arm of HowStuffWorks.com–a website often visited here at the Batcave–has outed me and a handful of other do-gooders. If we are to keep fighting the good fight we can’t have some “vigilante” website going around telling people who we are!!! For Pete’s Sake!

Still, Spiderman, whoa! 28 people know your secret identity? Yeah, I know I have revealed myself to 43 people…sorry, that should be 43 people know I’m Bruce Way…let me start again, a lot of people think they know who I am. But I’m going to cut that number down with some memory gas in the next few weeks though.

Ahhh, memory gas. So many…um…memories.

Speaking of memories, I was enjoying Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind the other day and found myself confused. I was able to keep up with the tangled plotline and memory jumping but why on earth would Kate Winslet find Jim Carrey attractive?

I think the Joker has been tampering with my word-processor. There are green lines everywhere. They tell me “Sentence Fragment”, yet this confuses me because “Sentence Fragment” is itself a sentence fragment. Confound you Joker!

I’m going to out and lurk.
Until next bat-time.