Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Ho-lee Crap!

What the hell is going on here!

Alfred and I get back from the A-city to find my cave is a mess. There’s beer cans everywhere! Someone (probably Robin) has been downloading Destiny’s Child and Kelly Clarkson MP3s onto the Bat-computer and Bat-iPod.

Also there are twinkie wrappers and half drunken bottles of coke under the seats in the Bat-mobile (which no one was allowed to drive). And someone has replaced my new Beck CD with Avril Lavigne in the Bat-Stereo.

Why does Batgirl have a big bruise on her forehead? You know Oracle is going to tell me everything so you may as well confess right now. And it doesn’t take the “World’s Greatest Detective” to know who put chocolate fingerprints all over my bat-suits.

Also Nightwing, I will speak to you later about certain “images” I found in the Bat-computer under a file called “Dick’s Stuff Keep Out”.

Gotham, what a dump.

Hi, Nightwing here. Bru- I mean Batman's away at the moment attending a monofilament convention in Alantic City. While he's away I'm looking after the kids. Batgirl is causing me grief. I don't think she can see through her costume: I had to watch her walk into a lamp post today.

Is it too much to ask that there be at least one barrista in Gotham who can brew me a cup of java without burning the coffee? And what's with this frothy muck on every damn cup of coffee? If I wanted froth I'd hang a bowl under a dog's mouth. I sure as hell don't want it in my cup of joe.

And rubber bands! What's with rubber bands being all stretchy like?