I don’t mind super villains. Not really, you know. They sort of keep me in business. But what I have come to realise is that it is really hard to start up as a super villain.

Most of them have deep psychological problems or delusions or obsessions. Often with me.

And then there are the guys who try too hard.

I’m up on this rooftop (where else) when I hear about this guy on my scanner. He breaks into a bank and when the cops come along he places his hands on his hips a laughs. Then he throws cotton buds at them. You know those things you use to clean your ears with? Yep, that’s what I thought.

He went down in a screaming mess of pepper spray.

I suppose he technically doesn’t count as a villain, even with that laughing bit. But still, I’ve had guys in homemade costumes, which is clearly underwear, challenging me to a duel of wits or some ludicrous thing.

Still at least it’s a hobby.

Been doing a lot of stalking around the rooftops recently. You would not believe what’s up there.

There was an episode of the Tick (the shortlived live action version with Patrick Warburton*) where the Tick stands in gum and says “Who puts gum on a roof!?!” And I would have to agree. It’s very hard to look all “scary dark knight” when you’re picking gum out of your boots.

However, having said that, I can heartily recommend a night on the rooftops to anyone: the clean air, the feeling of freedom, the easy views into bedroom windows. I’m kidding**.

*What just cause I’m Batman I can’t watch TV?
** What just cause I’m Batman I can’t make a joke?

You know what's weird? Coincidence

Last night I had some friends around for dinner the other night (you know, the ususal gang) and I mentioned this blog, in passing. Then this morning Con El came by and left a comment, which prompted me to try and start his thing back up.

At dinner we discussed the various pros and cons of a prolific super hero having a public blog. So first of here is a list of a few of the things we came up with.

Some of the pros:

• Relieves boredom of super-powered lifestyle
• Shows public the human side of super-power-enabling-yet-monstrous mutation
• Enables you to vent about city's woeful police force
• Fans feel significant by being able to leave comments
• Able to start campaign for Salma Hayek to be new Catwoman
• Chicks dig bloggers
• Bat-computer not really the best place for funny kitten videos

Some of the cons:

• Mystique of heroism begins to rub off when you post about bad hair day
• Discover that Jed1_Kn1ght2004 thinks Wolverine could "totally take you"
• Supervillans hitting you with spam comments
• Spacebaralwaysbrokencozofsuperstrength
• Always having to explain what a blog is to friends/foes
• Moblogging does not work in outer space
• Always was torn about whether to wear mask while posting

You will NOT BELIEVE what's been going on in Gotham recently.

Seriously, I won't write it down because there is no point because you will NOT BELIEVE it.

I'll just say this: interdimensional vortex.

Oh and needless to say...thwarted.

Thank you.

So, anybody got any plans for the weekend? Me? Oh I'll probably be tidying up after the vortex. Things sure got messed up.

Batarangs everywhere. I tell ya when you get one of those stuck in the wheel rim of your car they do not come out easy!

Anyway, stay safe.

Batman

Um…so, anyone out there committing any crimes? No? Oh, just checking.

It has been so dull here for the past few weeks. I’m almost thinking of breaking some people out of Arkham just to stir things up. I know there are a few crazies on the loose: Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, Harlequin, Catwoman etc (wow there’s a lot of girls on that list).

So any super villains out there (or even any regular run-of-the-mill villains) please detail any of your nefarious, but essentially flawed, plans here first. This will give me the heads up and at least I can start planning (project managing if you will) and that will fill in my time until your plans “completion date”.

PS: Thanks for the invite Gaia but Batman works alone…apart from Robin, and Batgirl, and Oracle and sometimes Huntress, oh and Azrael...and every now and again the Justice League