So the headline read: Major crime busted up by the “Batman”

Wanna hear how it went down? Mr Freeze was trying to steal the world’s oldest diamond from the Gotham Museum of Natural History. He had frozen everything, including the guards, with his freeze ray thingy. Somehow he had modified his armour so that he didn’t need his helmet anymore.

Robin and I smashed in through the skylight and then surfed down the backs of two dinosaur sculptures that happened to be in the same exhibition hall. Freeze’s thugs were dressed as hockey players (no irony there) but luckily we had our bat-ice-skate-boots on. We wasted the thugs but Freeze zapped Robin after yelling out “You’re not taking me to the cooler” in a barely comprehensible accent. I really should have seen that coming and just punched him (or whacked him a bat-a-rang or something) the second he started to speak.

It’s like that bit from Steve Zissou: “You never say, ‘I'm gonna fight you, Steve.’ You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch.”

That was awesome. Shame it was Mr Freeze though because the nipples on my bat-suit hardened up like you wouldn’t believe.

Yeah I’m just yanking your chain. Here’s what really happened.

A bunch of guys botched a bank raid and had a bunch of hostages. I told the police to wait until it was dark (which only took an hour). I threw some smoke bombs around, used infrared goggles (not even bat-goggles) to find the guys and take them out methodically one by one. After they realised that it was me a couple bolted for the door but Batgirl got one and Robin got the other. Nice and clean.

No theatrics, no one-liners, and no nipples showing (at least I didn’t see any).



Playing on the Bat-Stereo: Fly My Pretties (a band from New Zealand I was alerted to by a batblog reader)