Batman Returns...

Soon.




But not today because I have just got SO many things on you wouldn't believe it (including but not limited to: returning DVDs to Blockbuster)

Gotham is currently too safe, and I’m bored so let’s see what’s in the news today?

Ex-Russian Spy Poisoned In London. Hmmm, sounds interesting; but a little too far out of my jurisdiction.

Nintendo Wii has peaceful, plentiful launch in US: the Justice League had that covered just in case there were riots.

Musharraf, Blair Meet: Reiterate Resolve to Combat Terrorism: maybe it’s just me but… if you can’t punch something in the face then you want to be careful about combating it. I mean I have fought some crazy looking things (usually from space) and even they will usually have a face to punch.

Tom and Katie's fairytale wedding: Speaking of face-punching...

“World of Whatnow?” I asked.
“Warcraft” they said in unison.
“Sounds like something Adam Strange would deal with.” No one laughed so I continued, “What is it?”
“It’s a [something beginning with M]” said Oracle
“Oh, well is that really what you want to use the world’s greatest crime-solving computer for?”
“Absolutely” said Robin
“It’s got the best connection and I can run multiple characters on it” said Oracle.
“Well how long are you going to be? Word is that Two-Face is planning something”
“We’ll we’re just in this PVP battle at the moment then I promised the guild I’d help them with a raid” answered Oracle, if that was indeed an answer.
“Well, ok. Just be careful of online predators.”
I swear Robin rolled his eyes.

You know what I love? Justice.

Ooohh man its sweet. You know, you’ve been tracking some crook most of the night (be it a super villain or a two-bit hood), when you finally catch them it just feels good.

Of course sometimes, while you’re standing there enjoying your justice-high, the bad guys can free themselves and sneak off. But that’s alright; you notice sooner or later and just catch them again for another buzz.

That’s why it’s no fun when people obey the law. Remember civilians, if you aren’t doing something wrong then somewhere a superhero is sad. Failing that, try to tempt others to be bad. Walk down dark alleyways at night boasting loudly about all the money in your pocket.

C’mon people, help me out here! Justice, it’s like a drug! Ask the Martian Manhunter, he's the biggtest Justice-junkie I know.

I don’t mind super villains. Not really, you know. They sort of keep me in business. But what I have come to realise is that it is really hard to start up as a super villain.

Most of them have deep psychological problems or delusions or obsessions. Often with me.

And then there are the guys who try too hard.

I’m up on this rooftop (where else) when I hear about this guy on my scanner. He breaks into a bank and when the cops come along he places his hands on his hips a laughs. Then he throws cotton buds at them. You know those things you use to clean your ears with? Yep, that’s what I thought.

He went down in a screaming mess of pepper spray.

I suppose he technically doesn’t count as a villain, even with that laughing bit. But still, I’ve had guys in homemade costumes, which is clearly underwear, challenging me to a duel of wits or some ludicrous thing.

Still at least it’s a hobby.